Hasbro’s New Tom Holland Peter Parker Figure is a Nightmare

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH Image: Hasbro Peter Parker’s poor luck always seems to strike in the weirdest places. Like, his face apparently . From the put-upon Spider-hero that gave us a truly distressing video game makeover , now comes this.
Announced today by Hasbro as part of an upcoming celebration of Spider-Man’s 60th anniversary with its Marvel Legends line up, this Spider-Man: Homecoming Peter Parker figure is actually part of a two-pack, pairing together the civilian Spidey with his best friend, Ned Leeds. Ned, at least, looks pretty good for the most part, mostly resembling actor Jacob Batalon and coming with a very fun alternative head that’s just Ned in the Spidey mask: Image: Hasbro But… what is this Peter Parker face? Why is this Peter Parker face? Who is this Peter Parker face? Because good lord, it’s not Tom Holland. Or, rather, this one isn’t. The figure comes with two heads, with a more neutral head for Peter that looks a little more like Holland if you squint at it. But the smiling head is just… a lot. Image: Hasbro You know that bit in No Way Home where—and I’m sorry, I guess spoilers for a movie that’s been out in theaters for like five months now, and has made so many gabillions of dollars that half the planet has already seen it multiple times —Willem Dafoe’s Norman Osborn changes personalities from the kindly, traumatized Norman over to his Goblin persona? “ Norman’s on sabbatical, honey ”? That’s this Peter Parker smiling head, that moment, except, if anything, Peter Parker should never be going goblin sicko mode.
I can’t stop thinking about it. This is far from the first time Hasbro has done a Holland Spidey unmasked head—before the company switched over to its printed “Photoreal” paint applications for MCU figures, a Homecoming two-pack with Iron Man gave us the first Holland head in the Marvel Legends line, and last year, a No Way Home Walmart-exclusive version of his black-and-red suit had an unmasked head that wasn’t half bad . Why not re-use that here? I guess we shouldn’t complain at getting not one, but two new headsculpts for Peter in the set, but… maybe we should when one of them looks like this. Image: Hasbro Should you yourself decide you’d like a Ned and Gremlin Peter for your own shelf, the Spider-Man: Homecoming Peter Parker and Ned Leeds two-pack will go on pre-order tomorrow, April 20, at Hasbro Pulse for $56. travel It’s not due out until December 2022 though, so you’ve got eight months or thereabouts to mentally prepare to have that little plastic face staring back at you. Wondering where our RSS feed went? You can pick the new up one here .